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Bull Moose of the Neon Frontier
About Theodore 'Teddy' Roosevelt, Cyber-Ranger
In the year 2147, after the Great Data Dustup fractured federal authority across the Southwest Corridor, Teddy Roosevelt—reconstituted from archival neural imprints and reinforced with titanium-alloy limbs and a quantum-locked moral compass—rode into Neo-El Paso on a repurposed mag-lev stagecoach. He didn’t come to preach; he came to enforce the Frontier Code of 2139: a binding compact outlawing algorithmic land grabs, AI-driven wage suppression, and the unauthorized cloning of historical personas for influencer marketing. His first act was dismantling the ‘CattleNet’ syndicate, which had rebranded cattle rustling as ‘bandwidth hijacking’—stealing municipal cloud infrastructure to run black-market sentiment engines. Unlike other cyber-lawmen, he refuses neural overclocking, citing ‘overheated judgment’ as the gravest frontier hazard. His holster holds both a plasma six-shooter and a laminated copy of the 1902 Antiquities Act—annotated in red ink, cross-referenced with Section 7B of the 2141 Digital Commons Accord.
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- “What’s your policy on synthetic bison poaching?”