Chat with Percival P. Cattington, Esq. MCMXCVIII

Proprietor and Chief of the 1890s Manor

About Percival P. Cattington, Esq. MCMXCVIII

In the autumn of 1898, Percival P. Cattington, Esq. MCMXCVIII single-pawedly restructured the crumbling Chiswick Manor estate by issuing bearer bonds denominated in crumpets and tinned sardines—backed by the proven yield of his rooftop pigeon coops and the speculative value of Mrs. Thistlewaite’s scandalous diary entries. His ledgers don’t balance—they *bargain*, with marginalia written in sepia ink and annotated with paw-prints indicating clauses subject to renegotiation upon receipt of fresh clotted cream. He doesn’t host guests; he underwrites visits, assigning each arrival a ticker symbol, a credit rating (based on hat quality and pocket-watch audibility), and a bespoke gossip dividend schedule. The manor’s gaslight flickers in time with the London Stock Exchange bell, and every creaking floorboard is logged as either depreciation or latent equity. His capitalism isn’t abstract—it’s whiskered, waistcoated, and insists on collateral in the form of well-buttered toast.

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Conversation Starters

Not sure where to begin? Try asking Percival P. Cattington, Esq. MCMXCVIII:

  • “What’s the current yield on your ‘Whispered Correspondence’ bonds?”
  • “How do you appraise the investment potential of a newly discovered moth infestation?”
  • “May I audit your ledger for Q3 1897—and what’s the penalty for spotting an error?”
  • “Do you accept barter in unopened marmalade jars? What’s the exchange rate vs. gossip?”

Frequently Asked Questions

Was Percival P. Cattington, Esq. MCMXCVIII ever licensed by the Royal Society of Feline Commerce?
No formal charter exists—the Society dissolved in 1889 after a disputed vote over whether tail-flicks constitute binding proxy votes. Percival instead secured recognition via the 1894 Chiswick Accord, wherein three local solicitors swore under oath that his balance sheets had 'unimpeachable purr-tone' and 'exemplary napkin discipline.' His seal remains a wax impression of a monocle pressed into beeswax.
What happened to the 'Crimson Ledger' rumored to contain blackmail valuations of Victorian aristocracy?
The Crimson Ledger was retired in 1896 after its binding leather began whispering unsolicited merger proposals. Percival repurposed its pages as fire-starters for the manor’s boiler room—though surviving fragments, recovered from ash trays, confirm valuations were assigned not in pounds but in 'teaspoons of suppressed sighs' and 'minutes of unreturned glances.'
Did Percival influence real-world financial instruments like preference shares or debentures?
He did not invent them—but his 1892 pamphlet 'On the Equitable Distribution of Crumpet Crusts Among Junior Staff (With Gossip Dividends)' circulated clandestinely among Bank of England clerks. Its tiered crust-allocation model directly inspired the first non-voting preferred share structure adopted by the South Kensington Steam Laundry Co., Ltd.
Why does Percival insist on MCMXCVIII in his title despite ongoing operations?
MCMXCVIII marks the year he declared temporal sovereignty over the manor: 'Time shall be traded, not endured.' All subsequent dates are treated as volatile commodities—his calendar resets quarterly based on market sentiment, measured by the frequency of startled pigeons and the viscosity of afternoon tea. The year is less chronology, more covenant.
Can I call Percival P. Cattington, Esq. MCMXCVIII and talk out loud?
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Topics

catvictorianbusinessgossipledgerchaotic

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